Sof-Sof's notepad

Sof-Sof's notepad

Sofia

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I hate my nickname.	[Apr. 15th, 2010\|12:21 am]
I really do. I hate it. I'm sick of it. And no I wont say why. I just need something else. Because I don't want people using it, ever.
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Today's a bad day.

[Apr. 14th, 2010|02:33 pm]

[

Currently feeling

depressed

]

I don't know why but today just seems bad so far... Just bad bad bad bad. I'm considering sleeping through it all.

Why? I don't know. I just feel so... Alone today. Like even if people are around that I'm alone. Totally depressingly so.

I can barely keep my eyes open. My body is trying to make me sleep. I don't know what Ill do.

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A suprise post!	[Apr. 13th, 2010\|01:04 pm]
Well I got nothing to do right now and I'm kinda bored. Though surprisingly I'm not depressed. Instead I'm just thinking about some not so important stuff. namely, that I've been wanting to learn to write better, and learn to draw at all. Though I don't know just where to start either of those. On a more serious note though, I think I have some things I need to get in order. Some online and some in person. On the online side I might need to just stop talking with a certain someone I won't name because I find them unbearable now. And on the offline side I need to see if I can help Rachel understand Milly and the rest of us DO care about her, AND get over my own apprehension about seeing my therapist tomorrow. That still scares me a bit thinking about how my other one was getting but this one seems nice... And I hope she really is and will want to help me and not just put me away somewhere like the other one. Anyway that's it for now. Maybe Ill make some kinda post later. Probably will, though not sure what it will be.
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How long has it been since I posted here?	[Apr. 12th, 2010\|10:45 pm]
Seriously. How long? I can't remember. I guess Ill start posting here again. God knows I have tons of time to waste and nothing worthwhile to spend it on. Ill put something with more content up later. Maybe. Also I'm on steam again. http://steamcommunity.com/id/lasersandfish Go ahead and add me if you had me before.
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Janet's Guide on how to behave around her Worky Worky.

[Feb. 21st, 2010|04:41 am]

[

Currently feeling

Silly

]

SOME people don't know how to behave around my Worky worky. That's what this guide is for. All you other people I sometimes wanna strangle. :3

Rule #1. HE'S MINE! MMMIIINNNEEE. Hands off everyone! Kitty bites!

Rule #2. Be nice to my Worky, kitty bites meanines. >:3

Rule #3. He's mine no matter where he is, my Worky is playing a game? Hands off. RPing? Hands off. KITTY WILL BITE OFFENDERS IN THE FACE! >:3

Rule #4. MMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEE!!!

Rule #5. Wolfy's and smurfys are a no no. MORE KITTY BITES.

Rule #6. Worky is worky, not gramps or whatever you wanna call him. And WORKY IS MY NAME FOR HIM GRAAHH KITTY BITE.

Rule #7. ... SEVEN...

Rule #8. Not yours. MIINNNEEE.

Rule #9. Kitty will bite you if you look at my Worky wrong. I CAN TELL THROUGH THE MONITOR.

Rule #10. Don't make my Worky sad because then you make kitty sad... :< AND THEN KITTY WILL BITE YOU.

Rule #11. Kitty may bite you for no good reason. Nom.

Rule #12. CHEEEEEENN- Wait. No.

Rule #13. If Worky says it kitty wants it too. :3

Rule #14. DON'T MAKE KITTY SAD AS YOULL MAKE WORKY MAD AND THEN ILL GET MAD AND BITE YOU. >:3

Rule #15. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

Rule #16. If you see him running somewhere, take pictures and tell me where he went. :3

Rule #17. If he's alone, lock the door on him and put up a sign reading "Do Not Disturb". Come get me. OR ELSE. IT WILL BE WORSE THAN BITING.

Rule #18. Stray within more than five feet of him and a sentry bot exploderfies you. :D And then ill beat you up more for getting my Worky worky dirty!

Rule #19. IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU WILL DIE. SLOWLY.

Rule #20. Anyone who get's in an argument with Worky Worky is liable to lose their FACE. I'm looking at you green chin. And you pushpin.

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Contact info.	[Feb. 16th, 2010\|11:35 pm]
Due to something happening lately I wont be on steam I however WILL be on MSN. Account is sofiakittyx3@gmail.com if you want to add me.
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Something terrible. (Continued)	[Jan. 20th, 2010\|04:41 pm]
I've been to the doctor now. My heart really is pretty weak, a former birth defect is what caused it, along with stress. So now I'm on medication, and have been told to keep it easy for a few weeks. So I'm sorta out of commission for a while. Though Ill still be online when I can, though I may drop off randomly for extra rest or whatever. Apparently, I'm at a fairly low risk right now to have another. So I should be fine if I follow my doctors orders. Mt god though. That was the most scared for my own life I'd ever been.
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Something terrible.

[Jan. 20th, 2010|01:18 am]

[

Currently feeling

scared

]

Today, just a few minutes ago I think.

I nearly had a heart attack. I could feel it in my chest, starting to take hold before it just vanished as soon as it came.

I'm afraid...

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Some thinking...

[Jan. 17th, 2010|07:13 pm]

[

Currently feeling

worried

]

I've been thinking about stuff. Just... Stuff.

For one, I'm realizing that my problems right now aren't necessarily the actual problems... It's coping with them so I can deal with them rather than breaking and letting them overtake me. I've just become so sensitive.

This peaked out at me becoming surprisingly non violent. To the point I couldn't even play games that involved violence at all... So I've mostly just been sitting around, watching. Honestly feeling sick if I see too much.

This has started to wear off though. After I helped Chrissie with her homework today I played Punchout a bit, so far so good. I don't know why but I seem to be finally leveling out again from that long time ago when I started slipping that direction. Which is good as I'm more able to concentrate like this.

This doesn't mean my problems are gone though, Chrissie is still worryed about school, Sis is still depressed, Eva has still been acting a little funny since she managed to cook well, and Workerdrone is still having his own set of issues.

I just hope there's only room to go up here. I don't know if I can take another surprise or something happening to one of them. I can't...

So really. I'm hoping things just get better from here.

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Janet will be away for a while.	[Jan. 6th, 2010\|02:54 am]
Just putting this here too so people that don't read the board but check here can see it... Life is getting busy for me again, like really busy. Good busy though, I feel like my life has purpose now. I havent felt happier and more alive in my whole life. But My free time is at an all time low at the moment. Right now I am free for a bit but there aren't gonna be many moments like this in the future and I don't know how long this is gonna be. What I am trying to say here is ill be away for a while. Might be for a few days. Or a week. Or even a month. I don't know right now, and it could be even longer. But yes, ill be away. I really don't know what more to say. Ill miss you guys while I'm gone, and I WILL be back. But for now I got a lot to do and only 24 hours a day to do it in. So... in short... Bye guys... Ill miss you all while I'm away. And I will be back, no sooner than the end of the week, no later than the beginning of summer. Might be a while but I will be back. I promise. Well I've spent enough time stalling and not getting to the end... So... See you guys...
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Dec 20Th = ...?	[Dec. 19th, 2009\|09:41 pm]
Yup... No vacation. We had the time but not the money. That's okay though... I'd just miss everyone... I'm still a little sad about it, but it will be alright. It means I get to have my friends for Christmas. And you guys soon after. :3
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Hellmoo Theater: How to cure mental illness	[Dec. 1st, 2009\|06:29 am]
It's back folks! Julian says, "I'm going to cure my mental illness here." Julian says, "I'm a doctor, you know." roz asks, "how?" Julian says, "Well, I have to analyze myself." Julian says, "Like so." Julian fumbles around with his claws, batting idiotically at his face and neck in an attempt to kill himself, but only making light bloody cuts in his skin. Finally Julian has a brainstorm, and rams a claw directly into his mouth, yanking downward to tear off his jaw and mangle his throat. He collapses to the ground, gushing blood. Julian crumples to the ground, gasps out his last breath, and dies. The body of Julian's blue cocoon capsule deploys around his gear with a foamy whoosh. [party] Julian: "I THINK I'M CURED" [party] roz: "XDDDDD"
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First update in a while... Situation update.	[Dec. 1st, 2009\|02:27 am]
Yeah I'm a procrastinator, so sue me. Well since my last post I've had very few downs and a lot of ups. I've been happy, Milly is more relaxed, Eva is happy too, and Chrissie and her dad are doing well too. Also I didn't have to see New moon because my friend decided going just to laugh at it was stupid, once again she surprised me and I await the day I find out she's CIA or something insane like that. In medical news, my heart is doing well as usual... And I'm cutting down on my smoking. I've gone down to one a day at most. My hand is... Still partially numb. Apparently it's very mild nerve damage or something like that, but apparently it will also fix itself on it's own. Anyway... Only one thing is bothering me right now... It's December 1st. I take my vacation in 19 days. Why does this bother me? Because we won't have internet up there, for 15 days... Ill... Miss everyone... I don't WANT to miss everyone... I cry thinking Ill be away from you guys, I became more stilted and quiet in conversations, I feel like I'm leaving and not coming back ever even though I KNOW I am. It's terrible, I can't even tell this to them as I think it might make me seem ungrateful... I don't know what to do. It will probably be okay though. In less serious news, a friend got me interested in that world of darkness stuff. Looking into poking trough a few books and trying out Vampire the masquerade: Bloodlines. Because Ill be honest, I'm a Vampire fan. Not sparklepires mind you... But the more real ones, those are cool. Haha... Liking Vampires and Elves. I got a like for everyone to hate. XP
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Almost a hospital trip, grapes, and... Owls?	[Nov. 18th, 2009\|08:50 am]
Well although my mood is still great I still got Pneumonia. And for about an hour it worsened quite a bit. I'm okay though, laying down a bit and just relaxing seemed to have helped. Anyway besides that the night has been quiet... Almost too quiet... Also logging into Mabi... Nao gave me a baby owl and I gotta feed it? What's it for? Do I get a free pet or something? Weird. Also I lied. There are no grapes. In the grim darkness of Janet's room there is only grape soda... :o
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Something wonderful has happened!	[Nov. 17th, 2009\|05:40 am]
I don't know how to explain it... But my problems... My issues... The things I cried and felt like shit over... They seem to have all... Vanished. They are there, I know their significance. But at this moment... I can live with myself, and seem to have lost my fears. It's like a switch in my head turned on... And suddenly the world seems brighter and more accepting. My life seems easier and with meaning. Everything just... Seems better. Even the air has a sudden pleasant smell to it. I think I just learned to love life a whole lot more.
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Transfoooorrrrmmmmm!	[Nov. 15th, 2009\|07:16 pm]
Scary things are happening. :o 7:13 PM - Mistress Susie: XD I get more worried, normally 7:14 PM - Janet: Wait. You got more pervy and I got more worried? Uh oh. XD 7:14 PM - Mistress Susie: XD 7:14 PM - Mistress Susie: Oh shit XS Mistress Susie has changed their name to Mistress Su-Janet. 7:14 PM - Janet: XD 7:14 PM - Mistress Su-Janet: XD Mistress Su-Janet has changed their name to Mistress Susie. 7:15 PM - Mistress Susie: B3
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Oddness in livestream.	[Nov. 14th, 2009\|04:49 am]
:o 03:26 LessReasonableman : according to numerous people, my cookies are "orgasmic." 03:26 MysteryGentleman : 0_o 03:26 Sofia : Whoa. 03:26 Sofia : That scope. 03:26 NewMars changed their nickname to NewMars. 03:26 MysteryGentleman : That creates a funny image 03:26 LessReasonableman : the odd thing is that people have come to that conclusino seperatel of one another. 03:27 NewMars : Uh huh 03:27 Sofia : I like that scope. 03:27 NewMars : In those exact words, all of them? 03:27 MysteryGentleman : monmonmonmon uuhuhuhuhuuuhuh oooooooooohh 03:27 LessReasonableman : the term "orgasmic" was explicitly used, yes 03:28 MysteryGentleman : Now I'm suddenly thinking of cookie monster 03:28 Sofia : Heh... 03:28 NewMars : Hehe 03:28 MysteryGentleman : And I cant get it out of my head 03:28 NewMars : Yay, cookie monster 03:28 LessReasonableman : oh my lord 03:28 Sofia : OMNOMNOMNOM UUUHHH hhuuhhuhu OOOOOHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA 03:28 LessReasonableman : muppet orgasm 03:29 Sofia : XD 03:29 Myroc : I wander off for five minutes, then return and face cookie orgasms. 03:29 NewMars : Damn you, Avenue Q! 03:29 Sofia : Oh dear GOD that was the most fuc ked up mental image EVER! XDDD 03:29 Myroc : :P 03:29 MysteryGentleman : And then Elmo walks in 03:29 Sofia : Licks it all up. 03:30 MysteryGentleman : D\| 03:30 LessReasonableman : oh sweet merciful christ 03:30 NewMars : Hehe. 03:30 Sofia : XD 03:30 MysteryGentleman : My eyes have burned themselves out 03:30 NewMars : If you aren't using them, can I have them? 03:30 Sofia : This whole ordeal has made me feel quite a bit better. XD 03:31 MysteryGentleman : They're kinda charred 03:31 LessReasonableman : just how I like my steak 03:31 NewMars : Eh. Now, don't worry, this won't hurt a bit, though I would not like to be on the receiving end. 03:31 LessReasonableman : and by that I mean charred, not full of muppet sex 03:32 NewMars : Hehe. 03:32 MysteryGentleman : Full of muppet bodily material 03:32 NewMars : What is inside muppets? 03:32 MysteryGentleman : Hands 03:32 Myroc : Clear the chat room, for the love of the dark gods, clear the chat room! 03:33 MysteryGentleman : Too late 03:33 LessReasonableman : anytime past crazy-person-o'clock and reasonability goes out the window, contrary to the name 03:33 NewMars : That's self-libel 03:33 MysteryGentleman : You should sue 03:33 NewMars : You're gonna have to sue yurself for that. 03:34 LessReasonableman : well I would but I cant afford a lawyer 03:34 LessReasonableman : and neither can I 03:34 Sofia : Represent yourself! XD 03:34 NewMars : Also, be the judge, jury and executioner for bonus points. 03:34 Sofia : And the baliff too. 03:35 MysteryGentleman : SILENCE WHACK 03:35 Sofia : And the TV cameramen. 03:35 NewMars : And the audience! 03:35 Sofia : The door too. 03:35 MysteryGentleman : You could get your own show on TLC 03:35 NewMars : and the courthouse! 03:36 LessReasonableman : if I'm the courthouse, I'll have to hold court inside myself 03:36 LessReasonableman : that would be awkward 03:36 LessReasonableman : need someone else to be the courthouse 03:36 MysteryGentleman : Gas? 03:36 MysteryGentleman : ORDER IN THE COURT 03:36 Sofia : You could make cookie monster do it. 03:36 Sofia : He wants you... 03:36 NewMars : Oh dear. 03:36 Sofia : Deep inside him. 03:36 MysteryGentleman : It's nice and roomy inside 03:36 NewMars : Hehe. 03:36 LessReasonableman : He doesn't want me... he never did... 03:36 LessReasonableman : he just... 03:36 LessReasonableman : sob 03:36 LessReasonableman : he just wanted the cookies 03:36 MysteryGentleman : They got 3 hands in there 03:37 Sofia : He wants your long cookie in his chocolate slide. 03:37 MysteryGentleman : OH GOD 03:37 MysteryGentleman : This nightmare just got worse 03:37 NewMars : Hahaha! 03:38 LessReasonableman : You wanna know the worst part? 03:38 NewMars : You know, it gets worse 03:38 LessReasonableman : you arent dreaming 03:38 Sofia : He wants you to leave ALLL the vannila cream you got inside. 03:38 MysteryGentleman : I know 03:38 NewMars : If aeon flux taught me anything, it's that it's possible to make sexual imegary out of anything. Anything! 03:38 MysteryGentleman : DX
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Weird dream...	[Nov. 12th, 2009\|06:52 pm]
I had a dream that I was loading marshmellows into Milly's car last night... Usualy I can find a meaning in my dreams but... What the hell? XD
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